Monday, May 09, 2011

makes us stronger

we have made it...through one year. a year i couldn't have conjured in my darkest dreams. a year plagued by an unbalanced, jealous person determined to take away our light. guess what?

you didn't even come close.

our love is the stuff rainbows and dreams are made of. not for one single second did i ever feel abandoned, unsupported, unable, or afraid that our family couldn't weather this storm. and sailing through it in our first year together only strengthened the affirmation that quietly sings in my heart, every moment. this is our forever. our happily ever after. we will live every moment of the rest of our lives in beautiful unison, knowing that even the worst of times will do nothing except make us love each other more....and create an awareness of one another's needs and our own areas of weakness, allowing us to work together and grow stronger for one another. i cannot wait for every bit of the rest of our lives, including the hour from now when we will make dinner and celebrate our togetherness just because we can.

having highly respected experts point out to me that "she has a mental illness," and open my eyes to the fact that i allowed a narcissistic sociopath into our lives created a place that hadn't existed in me before... a place where i wasn't angry at her for trying to tear our lives apart. i was sorry for her that she will never escape the hell she has created within her own self. pity replaced anger, and will always remain. with it comes countless opportunities to teach our daughter right from wrong, because she has a living example of how not to treat other human beings.

we are blessed beyond measure. our little a will turn 5 years old in 9 days. gone are the days when i could call her a baby, a toddler, a preschooler. she will be a child, a kid, then an adolescent, a pre-teen, a teenager, a highschooler, and an adult. but today she is still fantastically four. and we will drink that in until those sweet little eyes have an extra twinkle of wisdom in them and she takes her first big girl steps into fivehood.

thank you, god, for the beautiful life you have created within us. thank you for the love in our hearts for each other, and our child(ren). thank you for giving us the gratitude to appreciate our blessings and seek to share that happiness with others. thank you for leading us to this beautiful, timeless love and the amazing people who share in our joy. thank you for saving the best for last.