Thursday, November 12, 2009

just like a woman


ready to blog again...here, i drifted. i must have ignored that clause in the single mom agreement that said you will never have any time to yourself, EVER again. so here i am. our house is ours - mine and ashley's, and it fills me right up. even the things you often let get under your skin about the everyday grind of motherhood feel good, when i'm at work and reflecting on the last week. last night ashley asked me if i wanted to watch "the facts of life" (a new nightly tradition). then she added, "i like it!" and i yelled "i LOVE it..." to which she looked up at me, grinned and said "gimme a hug. i so proud ah you." it made me smile from ear to ear, then laugh. i have been saying those words to her more frequently. and i forgot how good it feels to hear it. even when they are coming out of your 3 yr old's mouth and you know she doesn't fully understand them. they are still words that make you get tingly. words can be weapons. or they can cushion falls. insulate hearts. boost you back up into the sunlight. we need to be reminded.

the perpetual transition of the last 4 months has been exhausting. i am tired all the time. i am sleeping like a baby, yet i am still tired. i have gone from 151 lbs to 123 lbs with not one OUNCE of effort. not that i'm complaining about that part...it's actually nice, sans the need to buy new clothes. life is just changing. not only for me, for everyone around me. and while i want my daughter to be highly adaptable and embrace changes, i also want to provide stability for her. things she knows she can count on, no matter where we live, or who may be in our lives. traditions, if you will. our traditions. and we are starting them now. the holidays are around the corner, and before you know it, it will be spring and then summer again! i am accepting any and all suggestions for not getting lost in the madness and letting time fly by. i think it will start with a lot of organization on our end....


4 comments:

Under A Blackened Sky said...

Keep it real. Recognize everyday blessings, and never lose sight of what is truly valuable in life. Camille, I do not know you personally, but I will tell you that when I am looking for words of inspiration, a fresh perspective or just a passionate story, your blog has provided those things. So, when you ask if it matters what you write here... I will answer yes. As for traditions, what you give and what you share will become your traditions. Without ever meeting you I can tell you are a wonderful mother.

camille said...

i continue to be shocked and moved at the people who continued to look here, long after i left. it is a testament to the strength of the bond created between we early bloggers. thank you for your kind words. i will continue to write, and share my perspective. i think it all matters. if to no one else, my child will one day look back and find that i was not a one-dimensional fixer-of-all-things and kisser-of-scraped-knees. this blog is a testament to my life and my experiences, good or bad.

lightfeather said...

Hi Camille,
I don't have a facebook page but am inspired that you are writing again! I think I am coming close too. Have done some on the MySpace but think it might just be time to come home. Keep going girl! One foot in front of the other, breathing in and breathing out. You are home!

Loving you,
Lighty

camille said...

lighty. wow, i have missed you. i do not log into myspace any longer. i will be so thrilled to see you writing again on your blog. you are right. this is home.