it has been an interesting year. each minute, a lesson. me. searching. i'm still not sure exactly what for. my hair is gone. it felt cumbersome. it had to go, so i could find out what was underneath. hair is security for many women. now i don't have it. forced to be secure with myself. still shaky, i must admit. but a lesson to be learned, all the same.
i have done that for years: forced myself to do things i am afraid of. not all the time. just often enough to make me still feel real. alive. the verdict is in. i'm still here. still me.