Wednesday, February 01, 2006

insane in the membrane

i've been ridiculously busy, y'all. new place, new job, i take boards on monday, been coming out to relatives... cautiously avoiding those who would let it slip and make it back to my parents. yes, i'm telling the parents. i'm planning to have some time with my dad next weekend and i'll tell him, then ask his opinion about what to do about my mother. i'm under just a little bit of stress. i don't like this transition period. i'm not a student, but i don't have my license yet so i can't call myself an RN until wednesday (if and when i pass my boards); what i can and can't do at the hospital is a little blurry until i get those test results, which affects my schedule a bit. to say the least, i do not feel very stable. i'm worried about $$, my parents' rejection, passing my boards...THEN after i make it past those obstacles, i have the privilege of orchestrating my international move, our wedding, passing canadian boards, and finding a new job there.

don't get me wrong: i'm NOT complaining here. i have felt guilty lately for always venting on blogger and never posting happy entries. i'm just letting you guys know what's going on so you'll understand why i'm not around as much as i might otherwise be. i will try to keep updated as much as possible. but please don't disappear. i love you guys to death and i love knowing what's going on with y'all. you are my online family. my arial ghosts. and i love you. ALL OF YOU!!


puhpaul said...

This last little while has probably been the busiest of your life; university finals, moving to a new place, preparing for your boards, plus the stress of coming out to your family. This sounds like a time for you to focus on your needs and not worry about others. Take time to breathe, the rest of the world will wait for you.

Jen said...

You have so much on your plate right now...any one of those things would make someone tired and stressed.

You have a lot of courage, I hope that you get the reaction that you seek from your parents, as a parent of young children I cannot imagine ANYTHING they could say, do or be that would change the way that I feel about them or make me stop loving them...especially if they were to tell me they had met their soul mate whomever that may be.

Puffer said...

The plate is full for you
too full...
I am sending u
study karma
all the way from here
Life is too busy, when
all of this is done
we can finally sit.
When the boards are over
u will be able to have another
big stress off your shoulders.
After this week of coming out
to my family I will certainly
be there for you when you tell
your parents.
I love u.
Keep jumping through the hoops.

for_the_lonely said...

Coming out is one of the hardest things, and yet, such a release of negative energy and stress all at the same time. I will keep you in my prayers, and know that good things will come your way.

Love ya,
Sarah said...

i love it. all of it. baby, even the bad is good, because your learn. we are all here with you babe!

Anonymous said...

Camille, this is a stressful time...even good stress is still stress! Take care of you first and foremost honey. The rest will fall into place. I'm sending positive study/test vibes and sparkly pixie dust your way! Peace.

SassyFemme said...

You have A LOT on your plate right now. It will all work out, just take lots of deep breaths. One step at a time, one day at time, your eye on your prize in Canada. :)

Zoe said...

It will all be over soon, and I know you'll come out strong. good luck on your boards.

Sarah said...

Oh Sweetie!!!
I am so happy and proud of you! You are one tough cookie, going though a LOT right now. Graduating, coming out, moving to Canukistan with us crazies. For goodness sake, don't forget to take care of your self!! You are a wonderful wonderful lady.

lightfeather said...

Even though I don't come visiting as often as I should, know that I send you legions of angels to uplift you often Camille. This is a difficult time. The rollercoaster of life is heading up, up, up with lots of stuff going on. But hold on sweetie, soon you will be flying downward and the thrill will be on. Life is good.