Sunday, November 13, 2005

and so it is

my heart hurts in new ways
new intensities, shapes
and colors

everyone wanting things
from me that i cannot
or won't
give

which brings to pain
those who are no longer
here who also wanted,
needed things from me
that i could not and
would not provide

suppose i found it possible
to break off small pieces
of myself, and hand them
over freely.
i would.

not enough.
not even for me.
myself.
i.

never enough
for anybody
everybody
somebody.

pieces,
shatters
of myself
handed carefully
over, to cause
more anguish
than before.

7 comments:

Puffer said...

You are whole
Just sometimes it does not
feel like it
You are everything that I want
and everywhere you go you leave
a piece of you in that person.
Your gifts are how you love,
give, care, and are there for others.
Your energy makes Grace
shriek in delight when she sees you.
You are life, it just sometimes wears
you down.
Keep going on the journey...
YOU ARE UNIQUE, AMAZING,
SPONTANEOUS, HILARIOUS, SMART,
BEAUTIFUL AND PASSIONATE ABOUT
SO MANY THINGS.

pack of 2 said...

Sorry you are feeling spread so thin at the moment.

Hang in there girl.

Hugs,

Shelly

Traci said...

I'm thinking of you sweet friend. All will be as it should be... Peace.

Sarah said...

Sweetie,

I know this sounds impossible, but breathe and stay calm. Life always seems to work itself out. You will get a kick ass job and you will end up where you are to end up. Some times the best laid plans don't work out, and what you never expected to happen does.

Good luck this month. Try to stay sane. (Tell your Mom to bug off)

Lots of hugs, Sarah

for_the_lonely said...

I am sorry for all of yoru heartache....you are deeply loved, my sweet soul sister.

Love,
Sarah

lightfeather said...

And when you are doling out the pieces that no longer seem to be, know that your inner essence is always there. The spirit of you. The spirit that always was and always will be. In the silence and in your own sacred space of you, I know you will find your peace. Easier said than done. I know how difficult it can be. I really do.

Loving you unconditionally.
Lighty

Sarah said...

Your post/thoughts remind me of Melissa's song "Enough of Me".

"And I gave you my soul
And every ounce of control
And I gave you my shame
And my eternal flame
And I gave you my need and my seed oh my need
Why can’t you hold on"