Monday, September 12, 2005

Give a little, take a little


I will never be able to change the fact that you know me through and through, in a way so pure and unparalleled that I would never dream of looking for another soul to replace the role you play in my life…I cannot change that you’ve seen my ten year old body naked in a bathtub while we both spit cold water on one another…I cannot change that you cheered with me in those ugly green and yellow uniforms and let me drink hot chocolate that scorched my tongue one night…I cannot change that you know my family, and I know yours, in a way that cannot be imitated. We’ve watched one another’s families fall apart and come back together again. I cannot change that you were there when we broke into that abandoned house and Justin Gates pulled a machete on me while I was climbing in a window and I fell back onto the nail that went through my foot. I cannot change all the times Kris Phelps made inappropriate comments in class and we giggled, though Mrs. Benton admonished us to silence. I cannot change the day Mike cussed us out in church choir after school and sent us all running for the phones to frantically whisper to our parents “He’s gone mad! Come get me!” I can’t change the fact that certain songs will forever plague my mind… "rock, rock, peter, rock..."

I can’t change that I sometimes sleep holding your old sneaker or that your mom has embarrassed me countless times…when we were 12 and in the car crying because “Remember Me This Way” was on the radio and your dad said “You two okay?” and your mom replied, “They’re just on their periods. Let ‘em cry.” That's traumatic to a 12 yr old.

I cannot change the moments we called one another crying because our lives were falling apart. Or the moments we spent laughing because life was just so good together. I cannot change that I was there at your birthday party in Toccoa and we danced to “’Da Dip” all night long (though I might want to pretend that we didn’t). I cannot change the night we went “jeepin” and we came sneaking into Mema and Honey's house while I tried to smother snorts of laughter at your Tina Turner hair. I’ll never change the night I begged your mom to let me take Murphy and she fell off the stage after the RCHS basketball game and she had to be taken to two different hospitals…you and Davis slept over that night. It was a school night. I’ll never forget that the first day you visited my school in 3rd grade, you came at lunch and we had chicken pot pie and you sat with me. I won’t ever be able to change the fact that, when I can front with everyone else in the world, you know who I am. Where I come from. Where I’m going. Where I’ve been. What I love. What I hate. What I’m afraid of and what I’ve overcome.

As far back as I can remember, you’ve influenced my every thought, every decision, every laugh, every tear. And I’ve loved you longer and more fiercely than I’ve ever loved anyone - in a way that I could never love anyone else, no matter how hard I tried.

As long as there's the two of us
We've got the world and all its charms
And when the world is through with us
We've got each other's arms
You've gotta win a little
Lose a little
And always have the blues a little
That's the story of
That's the glory of
Love.

6 comments:

Puffer said...

Best friends are the best
I am glad u have Mandy in
ur life.
I look forward to meeting her

Traci said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it with us. Peace.

Cherry said...

I loved this post. Nothing in this world is better than a soul mate who knows your heart.

pack of 2 said...

So sweet...the song from beaches....I am lucky enough to have one of those friends too...she & I even watched that movie together when it was released in 1988...um, were your born yet?? LOL.

Shelly

scribble said...

so wonderfully sweet....
I wish I had a friend for all my life like her and you.

did I ever tell you that my daughter was named after Barbara Hersheys character in beaches...? Hilary.
hugs sweetie.

Jas... said...

You both are very pretty girls.
Jas...