Thursday, July 21, 2005

hetter tamille

dear candace
you died yesterday
so you know what you never asked
i wasn't ready
i had things to share with you

who am i kidding
now you know what
i was too afraid to tell you
well thought out
yes it was
my sense of self sacrificed,
the threat too great
more than i could bear

now that you know
do you love me any less
or more
or the same
do you want to warn everyone else
or show me the error of my ways

that i even have these thoughts
saddens me

water parks
matching dresses
kittens dressed in doll clothes
forts of pine straw and branches
picking black berries barefooted
sharing homemade ice cream
and koolaid in purple cups
at the big rocks
with us sharing the indian chief seat
always sharing...

well
almost always

those are the memories
that are dear to me
that will always be what counts

9 comments:

Traci said...

{{{{{Camille}}}}}

Jas... said...

C, you seem to leave ripples in the blog community the way a swan leaves a gentle, but profound wake in a pond. It is natural, serene and would be all the more lonely if you weren't a part of it.

:)
Jas...

Monkey said...

hugs...

and peace...

Sarah said...

Beautiful post. I am sure she loves you all the same.

for_the_lonely said...

Tons of understanding hugs coming your way. I love you, sister.

Always,
Sarah

Dixie said...

Peace and blessings to you.

SassyFemme said...

I'm so sorry that you're hurting. I've read through your blog a couple of times now. You have one of the purest, most tender hearts of anyone I "know". You wear your tender heart on your sleeve, I think it makes those of us with mamma bear intincts want to protect you and guide you so you don't get hurt. You're on a journey that so many of us have been on. If only you could see that it is okay, and it does come out okay when you follow your heart and live as you want/need to.

There's a longing in your writing that comes across with pain and sadness. Yet, at the same time, the pure joy and fun of a young woman just starting out her adult life clearly comes through. I feel like it's a privilege to be able to read your writing and hear your thoughts.

scribble said...

Camille, she knows and loves you
as she always did.
I know this.
Be brave little sister.
I'm here if needed.
706-965-8856

Puffer said...

U are so beautiful
and write so well
come home now