Saturday, June 18, 2005

lucidity

for a while now, i have been unremittingly hoping that things would somehow change and we could reconcile a relationship in our future. silly, yes i know. naiive and stupid of me, so what else is new? i must say with sadness and resolve that i now know with utter certainty that this was a ridiculous dream. nothing more than clouds floating in my head. she will not change. i have known this, but refused to truly accept it. i now have no choice but to acknowledge it and move forward. one more lesson learned the hard way. peace in my heart.

8 comments:

Puffer said...

A big hug to you Camille
I hate it when people hurt
I hope your o.k.
She is missing out
your wonderful.

Sarah said...

Life is crazy honey, and you are dealing with it all wonderfully. We can't change anybody else, we can only change ourselves, the way we think, and our reactions to those around us. Take care of your wonderful self, and phooey on anyone who doesn't appreciate you.

for_the_lonely said...

You are so special to me.
You are brave, young soul.
May you always have peace in your heart.

Love,
Sarah

scribble said...

ahhh the hardest part, the part that brings on depression.. when you finally realize that there is no use in wishing for that to happen. Yet on the other side of all of it comes a resolve to find someone who treasures you as you should be treasured.
As you have cared for her. You know in your heart then, that you deserve it and vow to never settle for less again.
It is ok to hurt now.
Because it will make your resolve stronger.
Live through it dear friend.
You will make it and be better for the hurt.

Kelly said...

I wish there was something that I could do for you. She is the one that is losing out on a wonderful woman. Hugs to you and I will be thinking of you. I hope that it will get better for you.

Under A Blackened Sky said...

Relationships are like works of art, like a sculputure or priceless vase. Once cracked or fractured or shattered it can never really be restored to it's original beauty. The more beautiful and valuable the vase, the more desparate the effort and the realization that it is forever changed. That said, I've found that change is not something that people choose. Rather, change chooses us most of the time, and we muddle through, learning things we must, making choices that shape not only our lives, but the lives of others. Illusions gone, reality staring us in the face, and the true change happens when we see the effect of change on our souls. For me, change is a matter of growth. Embrace growth, embrace change. Quotes from 2 musical greats.
"What we have to learn we rarely choose"~ George Michael.
"The only thing that stays the same is change" ~ Melissa Etheridge

Camille, if you just felt a spingle then you understand what I'm saying. In the absence of the spingle know that you are on the right track. Pain isn't easy, no matter how much experience you have with it. My friend, you know how to reach me. Take care of your heart.

Sarah said...

When you love someone it is hard to see the writing on the wall and to move on..especially when that person moves on first. You will accept it over time, give yourself some space and distance from the situation and it will make things easier.

Anonymous said...

I like that Under the Blackened Sky...

I had a best friend that i chose to end the friendship with. She was more like Camille and i was more like the other. but i hurt as much as she did. she just doesn't know...