Wednesday, May 25, 2005

lips and tongues

i am under a lot of stress. and i'm not even in school right now, that's the ironic thing. i've come to realize that i create it myself. the stress, i mean. and i have this habit that's probably not good...well, two actually. i've always picked/bitten my lips. until they bleed. i could never wear lipstick because my skin is perpetually renewing itself in different stages on my lips. actually, that hasn't been so bad lately. i've been giving them a break. but my nervous habit is biting my tongue, also, until it bleeds. i know it sounds insane, but it's almost like the taste of blood in my mouth calms me. it began innocently enough but has progressed. i am getting bolder in my tolerance for the pain and have recently been biting worse. i kept it bleeding for over three hours yesterday. and the dumb thing is, it hurts for days afterwards. like as if i'd both scorched and (accidentally, as most people do) bitten my tongue in the same day. it's such a stupid habit, but i can't stop. so there you have it. weird fact number 937 about me. i've never told anyone i do that. there ya go. have a field day with it.

6 comments:

Wicked Wanda said...

Don't feel bad. I bite at my tongue too. Not all the time, but if I get a sensitive bump I will bite it and pick at it with my fingernails until it bleeds. I have to really concentrate to make my self leave it alone long enough for it to heal.
It might not be as bad as your habit, but you're not the only one. :)

for_the_lonely said...

Ouch! I'll give you my little secret...I have scabs on my head. I started doing it in middle school ..(well over 10 years ago). I started scratching my head, nad before you know it, I had scabs. Then, I picked the scabs. I still get them from time to time. It's not even that my head itches. It's just a really bad nervous habit, I suppose....lol...

Sarah

meelo said...

lol, thanks sarah. maybe that wasn't supposed to be funny, but it made me feel better. when we were kids, my brother used to have scabs on his head and he would ask me to pick them for him (isn't that gross?)...lol, i'm grossing myself out!

lightfeather said...

((((((Camille))))) No, I won't have a field day with it, but might just try to be the "mommie" here :-) That and really going through another soul searching era of my own life. I find it interesting that the most nurturing of people(I include you in the batch of folks) do not treat their own inner child with the same love, nurturing and caring that WE give to others. Yes, I included myself too :-) Give yourself a hug, tell yourself you love you!

Jas... said...

I agree with Lightfeather. There is some inner turmoil that you have yet to work through and it manifests itself as the nervous habit that you have. Perhaps that's being married to a beautiful, but stressed psychologist that is talking, but I found over time that loving (laughing at) yourself will cure almost anything. Good luck!
:D
Jas...

Under A Blackened Sky said...

I'm a lip balm junkie, can't live without it or I will naw and bite until my lips are bleeding. I pick and pick at my cuticles until they are sore and raw and have the same habbit of biting my lips if I don't use the lip balm. It's true what lightfeather said, nurturing people do not take care of themselves like they take care of others. Being a nurse my observation skills are pretty keen, and I notice a lot of co-dependent nurses out there! We are people who care, we can't help it, we like to help, but sometimes we need to help ourselves too. Try telling that to your patients sometime LOL. (yes, at times there is a little of nurse Ratchett in me!)