the best lines from season one:
• Tina [joking with Bette about a last-name combo, Portard, for their child]: Hey, Poor Tard, how's your two moms, ya big gay-mo?
• Dana: Maybe she's a different kind of lesbian. / Alice: Yeah, like the straight kind.
• Alice: [phone] Shane! Where are you. It's really, really lonely here at The Planet. And your roommates are over here saying "twat" like they have Tourette's Syndrome. Dana and Lara left, and all they were doing is giving me the "we fucked all night and no one else in the world matters" vibe. It was gross. Anyway, I wish you'd come be... surly and cynical with me. Bye.
• Tim to Marina: What is it you do? You girls? Should I even care? Huh? Does it even count? / Marina: Well, you were there. You saw how much it counts.
• Shane: Sexuality is fluid, whether you're gay or you're straight or you're bisexual...you just go with the flow.
• Bette: I am here to see Mrs. Peabody. / Concierge: The code word. / Bette: You need a secret code to see Mrs. Peabody? / Concierge: That is correct. / Bette: Shazzam.
• Alice: Hey you guys, where are Bette and Tina? / Alice: Boring. / Dana: Yeah. So boring. / Shane: I don't know. You know, I've been thinking about it. What's more boring, right? (to Alice) You can make endless lists. (to Dana) You can bawl your head off, and puke over the side of the boat. Or you get to go home. You get to sleep with the same person you've been in love with for 7 years.