Tuesday, May 03, 2005

dark curls and glasses

the first night i saw her,
she hid behind her parents
on the deck outside
my house in sky valley.
super nintendo and a
love for musicals
brought us together
in an instant, definitive moment.

best friends come and go
in elementary school
but not you

we practiced scripts
from entire movies
in her basement
standing on sofas
singing at the top of our lungs

i couldn't sing
she didn't care

we took baths together
our 9 year old bodies
unashamed and full
of life and happiness

i sometimes think i should
thank our mothers
for letting us do
everything together

softball
day camp
church choir
sleep overs
basketball games

but then again
i know we would have
found a way even without
their help or permission

lying on the grass
during recess
staring at the sky and
singing songs no 10 yr. old
would know...

talking about futures
it never occurred to us
that we might not always
be together

of all the things i've KNOWN
deep in my heart,
the calm of the infinity of
our friendship has been inside
my soul the longest.

you were so good at pretending
like you didn't need me
when we had those inevitable
5th grade girl fights

i was starkly naked
without you at my side
while you shone and threatened
new, better friendships by
dangling them in my face

but under cover of night
through the phone where
no classmate could see
you would call and read me
long letters of apology and the
need for our best friendship

i, of course, forgave you and
embraced our bond again
in the sunlight of a new morning
sitting indian-style talking
about your "new friends" who
you secretly hated

years down the road
we found ourselves in college
together

alcohol
new loves
greek letters
failing classes
gaining and losing weight
we braved it all side by side.

and you heard from someone else
that i was dating a girl
probably not the best news
to receive third party

i was as shocked as you were
yet in our tried and true fashion
we plowed ahead
nothing had changed
i was who i had been since day one
and so were you

and we reminded ourselves
we were grounded through each other
behind that lezzie, behind that alkie
were two little 9 year olds
who had faced every childhood
secret and trauma hand in hand

and i still see her in your face
7 towns, 13 years and 3 colleges later
nothing has changed
i still recite scripts with you
sing with you
dance with you
laugh at silly people with you

i still know that if i fart it's okay
because for SHO, you are going
to let it rip before the night is over

and if i puke all night long
i know you'll hold my hair
unless you're puking in the tub

i know if i want mcdonald's and
you have $1.19 in your checking account
you'll still go with me and pig out

i know if i ever look out into an audience
from a stage, you will be front and center
SCREAMING at the top of your lungs
even if you are my only friend there

i know if i black out, you will find
some huge guy to carry me up three
flights of stairs and put me in my bed

i can call you at any time
even though most of the time you won't answer -ha-
but the important thing is, i know if i need you
i can get you

and in these uncertain times
when my day to day is about as
stable as the san andreas fault
you are there. everyday.
and $1000 says you'll be there
6 months from now helping me
pick out my new place
maybe even moving in with me

thank you.
for years and years of fun
and friendship
thank you.

2 comments:

Jas... said...

This beautiful poetry has gotten me thinking of the best friend I had lost once. I have forgiven him, but I wonder if he has forgiven me. He never said. Such things in our life are precious, and you never understand how precious it is until it is not there any more.
This is art you know... what you do. It has given me emotion and thought.

Smiles,
Jas...
(jakowing.blogspot)

scribble said...

beautiful entry !!