Sunday, May 29, 2005

damn these nails, but they look good

i had a mani and pedi today. it makes typing a bitch, because i never have nails. ever. beth always had perfectly manicured nails. every day. in fact, the first time i ever stepped into a nail salon was with her. it was the first time we'd ever hung out, you know, outside of a classroom and i don't think we really had a plan...but we ended up at the nail place where she said she needed a "fill-in" (which i, of course, had never heard of). i was utterly fascinated. no women in my life ever had their nails done. it had never occurred to me that this might be a common affair. i thought it was uniquely and exotically her own. and very feminine. i wanted to be that feminine. i looked down at my short, cut-to-the-quick nails and for a moment i wished that i didn't play the piano. i wished with every fiber of my being for hands like hers. i was at the age where self actualization wasn't exactly at the top of my to-do list. conformity was the key in middle school, but i didn't want to conform to my peers. i wanted to be just like her.

the inside of her car smelled like a mixture of old cigarettes and the perfume that she wore. that fragrance takes me back to my first memories of her, still. when i was 13 i bought a small bottle of it. i never used it. i kept it tucked away with cards and letters and only pulled it out to smell when i really missed her. i could never be so bold as to consider wearing it myself. my sense of smell has always been my most dominant sense - the quickest to pull me back into memories of years as far back as toddlerhood. more than once, after she moved away, i turned to look for her, so sure that she had just walked past, only to find unfamiliar faces. i would think to myself, how dare someone else wear that scent? but those days are now gone, as is that perfume, and i didn't mean to go on a tangent. me being the afwul writer that i am, i'll leave you with no real conclusion or sense of purpose. this blog is more stream of conciousness, anyway. isn't the inside of my mind exhilerating? lol.

6 comments:

scribble said...

I enjoy a good nail...mine are mid sized and left natural. I too have never ventured into a nail salon to be serviced.
Jan is a typical butch woman... wouldn't be caught dead with long nails.
Interestingly enough one of the things I love most about her is her small hands. Slightly wrinkled and very sexy to watch work.

Stream away...
and stop saying you are an awful writer !
That is so not true of you Camille.
Don't go pissing me off now.
:) :)
;)

lightfeather said...

Wow! The two things that are on my mind. Nails and smells! Who would have thunk that one up? LOL!

I love pedi's! Had one yesterday and am still reeling in the glories of happy feet!

I am huge on smells. In fact I was dabbling with the thought about writing about smells, how important, how people smell, how I smell, and I just couldn't get it to flow, so I gave up. Probably too primordial or something. I just had to chuckle when I read the thing about smells. Not because it was funny, just another person living life through their nose.

Love you Camille. You are a great writer! Keep going!

M and G said...

Camille,
Don't call yourself an awful writer silly!!! I love the way you write.

I have to say that my nail preference has always been short. I got a manacure once in my life and my cuticle's bled for two days. I decided not to do that again. I think nails short enough to see a bit of skin above them is my favorite. I think it makes the hand look nice. That's just me. But I'm a guitar player.

As much as I hate those stupid body spray commercials I think they have something right with scent being the strongest sense tied to memory. It's amazing how a perfume can take you back or bring someone to mind.

I'm SO glad someone agree's with me about the misconceptions and hairy men!! lol That made my day. Thank you!

-Gina

M and G said...

Camille,
In reguards to the comment you left on our blog...LMAO. I think I would have the same thought run through my head if I looked at my hands with fake nails on them. Too funny!

How long have you been playing piano? I definately think you should get both. Knowing how to play the piano really helps with learning guitar theory. I actually teach guitar lessons here in Texas. Do you have Yahoo or AIM messenger? If you do then maybe I could help you with learning guitar when you get one. It would also be cool just to chat sometime! Take care!

-Gina

scribble said...

hey I have yahoo IM...
never turn it on.
we should all have a chat sometime.
my id is annieb4219

meelo said...

annie, i'll add you to the yahoo messenger and actually turn it on (ha!).

gina, send me your i.d. and i'll add you as well. this may sound nuts, but i don't know what mine is - i thought on yahoo messenger, they were classified by email addresses?